I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
