I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
