yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
