The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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