Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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