i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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