i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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