After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
