I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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