batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
