i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
