are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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