I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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