Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
