Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
