Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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