i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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