I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
jump out the window naked night went bad
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
