in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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