Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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