I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
