At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize