We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
