on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
