dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
