So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
