you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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