No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
