I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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