I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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