In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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