So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
