honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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