It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
