Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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