don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
