I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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