so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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