she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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