And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize