Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
