I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize