Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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