North Korea, Best Korea!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize