That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize