Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
