Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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