thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We are two peas in an std pod
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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