my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize