I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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