he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The beer is more important than you right now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize