Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
