She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize