i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
