stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't deserve a penis
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
