singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
