dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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