I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
