I bet he comes in French.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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