Ambien. No doubt about it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
