bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
